


Lose Herself

by _jamjar (phizzle)



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-10-20
Updated: 2004-10-20
Packaged: 2017-10-07 20:33:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/68988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phizzle/pseuds/_jamjar





	Lose Herself

Willow is creeped out. Definitely creeped out. There's a vampire that looks like her. Maybe even _is_ her. Anyone would be creeped out.

But that doesn't mean she wants to watch her best friend dust her. Another her. When she asks the question, she knows Buffy doesn't want that either. Then suddenly, an image of a creature, a dangerous beast who is really the man she loves, pops into her head, and she knows what to do.

Racing back to the library, she thinks quickly. Angel and Buffy will likely deal with the "cadre of vampires" first; Buffy will put off fighting Willow until the last minute, she knows it. She has time.

Leaning over the counter, she calculates how many darts she'll need, so caught up in thought she gasps loudly when she's pulled bodily upright. A hand clamps over her mouth, muffling the sound, and she hears her own voice in her left ear. Her own, but changed somehow. Deeper. More... almost _dark_.

"Alone at last."

_Oh, crap,_ she thinks.

She's spun around, and comes face to... heavily-made-up face with the vampire who looks like her. She has to agree with Xander; this thing _is_ her. And good lord, that leather outfit really is Dominatrixy... there are enough disturbing thoughts going round in her head, and she adds another. Panicking, her thoughts dissolve into simply _Oh God it's me. This is so freaky._

The vampire looks her up and down, lip curling in distaste. "Well, look at me," she says, "I'm all fuzzy."

Willow glances down at her sweater, then back at the vampire. "What do I want with y--uh-"

"Your little schoolfriend Anya said that you're the one that brought me here," the vampire cuts her off. She seems bored somehow. _Jeez, I'm a cranky vampire,_ Willow thinks, freaking out a little more. _Calm down. You have to think._ Suddenly, the danger of the situation hits her. _I'm alone in the library at night, with a vampire. Buffy and the others are somewhere else, they won't be back for God knows how long... I'm in trouble._ Willow swallows, tries to keep the fear out of her face. "She said that you could get me back to my world," the vampire tells her, languid.

"Oh," she says. _Anya._ The images come back. The spell, the Hell place. This is who she saw there, that's what the spell did. Bring this vampire to this world.

Now there's an explanation, Willow calms down a little. She's still in trouble, but at least now she knows _why_. "_Oh._ Oops."

"But I don't know," the vampire muses, a smile beginning to form on her lips. "I kinda like the idea of the two of us." She's definitely smiling now, and her hand is rubbing up and down Willow's arm. Willow looks at her. _She can't mean what I think she means,_ Willow thinks desperately. _Cos that is just sick. And so creepy._ The vampire is pulling her slowly towards her, turning her around... "We could be quite a team. If you came round to my way of thinking."

Willow is scared now. A vampire has her wrist tight, and is behind her, wanting to kill her, to make her a vampire. Not to mention the extreme creepiness of it all. "Would that mean... we have to snuggle?" she asks, trying hard not to panic too much and lose her head. She needs it.

The vampire pulls her hair off her neck. "What do you say?" she murmurs, and Willow feels a tongue running up her throat. She shudders. "Wanna be bad?" the voice murmurs in her ear again.

"This just can't get more disturbing," Willow thinks aloud. The vampire growls low in her ear, and that's it. She jumps away, turning to face it. "Eck, urh, no more! You're really starting to freak me out." _Strong. I have to be strong._ She steps forward, her only thought to get out of the library, but the vampire pre-empts her move. She glances at the counter and grabs the cross on it, holding it out. The vampire simply knocks it out of her hand with a growl, and throws her over the counter. She lands hard against the cabinet.

"You don't wanna play... guess I can't force you." From the sound of the voice, the vampire is moving towards her. Willow reaches forward, grabs the thing she came here to get in the first place.

The vampire comes into her view, rounding the partition. "Wait... I can." Willow doesn't have time to check the tranquiliser, she just shoots.

It's empty. No dart hits the vampire. Panicked, Willow searches for the darts. _Dammit, where are they?_

The vampire chuckles. Advancing, she takes the gun from Willow and crouches next to her. There's a smell coming from her, something that has nothing to do with her being dead, being a vampire. It doesn't even have anything to do with the leather. But it has everything to do with the fact that she's an animal.

Willow backs away as far as she can, crawling as the vampire keeps coming. There's nowhere left to crawl, she's backed into a tiny space under the counter. The creature smiles, gets closer, so close she whispers in Willow's ear, "Play time."

Fear makes something snap in Willow. She thinks of Oz earlier, of how he thought he knew her so well, of Buffy and Xander calling her reliable; flashes of Percy and Snyder relying on her dormat tendencies. And now this vampire is offering her a chance to be bad. She doesn't want to be bad. But she doesn't want to be good either.

"Play time," she confirms, looking right into its eyes. Moving quickly, she grabs either side of its face and kisses it hard on the mouth. After a startled split second, the vampire reacts, hands in Willow's hair and tongue doing its licky thing. Before she knows what's going on, Willow's hands are all over the vampire, whose own are in places she has never been touched before... at least, not like this.

It all happens so fast. The leather creaks, the fuzzy sweater crackles with static, and both are discarded. In a dream, or a daze, Willow sees a blur of red hair, of pale skin, and closes her eyes. When lips, and a tongue, circle her nipple and suck, and lick, she shuts them tighter and moans. Her head is thrown back, and that tonge is licking her neck again. Her hand shoots out, grabbing the vampire by the throat.

"Don't bite me." Her eyes burn. "Not there. And don't drink me. Got that?"

Startled, the vampire's face changes from the monster back to the Willow-mirror. "I got it," it says, frowning and tilting its head to one side to look at her. Then the smile returns. "We don't have to play like that. There are other ways..."

Willow shoves two of her fingers into a place that makes the vampire's eyes open wide. "The only way we're going to play," Willow says, withrawing her fingers and pushing them in again, making the vampire's eyes roll back and her mouth open a little, "is like this."

As the vampire begins riding her fingers, Willow adds another. It pounces on her, one set of nails digging into her side while the fingers of the other hand go inside her. Willow throws her head back and thrusts her hips towards it. The lips and tongue go back to her nipples, and her other hand wanders over its body.

She forgets everything. The body pressed against hers is cold, so cold, but it feels so hot. She gasps in the heat, her back arching. Breasts are pushed against her own, nipples grazing the curve of each. The legs either side of her waist squeeze her, until she takes a hand away to force them not to. If she takes her hand away, the body on top of hers does anything to get it back.

She forgets time, her own name, all things. All she knows is the sensation of the skin on hers, of the hot, sweet wetness on her fingers, of the burning, melting pleasure between her legs. Her wrist is connecting with another, arms brushing together, tingling the nerve endings, somehow intensifying the pleasure of the fingers inside her. She has no way of knowing how long this goes on, ecstasy and intensity building in her, until she knows she's going to come. She's only had a few orgasms before, in a misty dream when she had a name and knew where she was going, experimenting with her body. This, she knows, will be nothing like that.

The body on top of hers shakes hard, thrusting onto her hand, pushing against her, and warmth spreads from her clitoris outwards. The thumb pressed to it rocks, and she writhes, groaning and gasping.

She comes in a way she didn't know was possible, opening to let the bursting waves of the orgasm swell and break in and against her. Crying out, loud nothingness, she shakes and rocks with it, until every last spasm has gone and she lies back, time and her name returning.

Willow looks at the naked vampire. "Get dressed," she says, pulling her own underwear and skirt back on. It looks disappointed somehow, but slithers back into the leather trousers. Willow looks away, finger-combing her hair, and straightening her sweater. _Do I look like I've just been doing... whatever it was I just did?_ She checks. _No. Good._ She looks back at the vampire, who was smiling at her, and moving closer to her, slinking like a cat.

"Wanna play some more?" it asks, stroking her neck and licking it again.

Willow shoves it away hard. The vampire stands, looking angry. "You're no fun any more," it says. Willow grabs the tranquiliser, remembering where she put the darts. She loads it fast, and shoots, the vampire caught as it moves to grab her.

It looks down, then back at her. Conceding that Willow has won. This time. "Bitch."

Willow sits, too stunned to move. Slowly, she puts the tranquiliser gun on the counter and stands. Looks at the vampire on the floor. Feels whatever snapped in her mend, her anger and frustration disappearing.

_This,_ she thinks as she drags the vampire into the book cage, _is something I will never tell. To anyone. Ever._

When she faces Buffy, she has already forgotten about it.


End file.
